I know this is possible because I’ve been there, helped others through it, and the neuroscience backs this up! You can learn strategies that calm you and make you less vulnerable to stress - throughout your day. Everything you have ever learned in your life, is evidence that you can learn this too.

I'm Marsha Mandel, a psychotherapist specializing in treating trauma and anxiety, and a mental wellness coach who is dedicated to helping people bring calmness, clarity, and confidence into their daily lives.

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I share this information with clients in therapy or coaching, however, knowing this information and using these strategies can benefit everyone.

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Thirty-five years ago, way before becoming a therapist, I was a musician who connected with people through my music and other interests. I felt stressed and anxious, but had no idea that it was possible to feel any differently. During the following years, as a single mom with two autistic children and lots of challenges, my own feelings of stress and anxiety became overwhelming.

I had a choice: fall apart, or find a way to calm myself, despite real problems in my life that were out of my control.

I did not think it was possible to feel any differently without changing situations or what other people were doing. I learned strategies and what I now know are essential facts about the mind, brain, and body. I learned about the importance of turning attention inward, with self-compassion, and acceptance of what is. 
I learned that reality does not care what I think about it, so I may as well try to view it in the healthiest way possible.
I learned the differences between acceptance and complacency, and between hope and expectation.
I learned that the gap between negative and positive is sometimes too great, and that we are always
​navigating the space in between. 
My own life experiences deeply inform my practice.
 I've brought this information into my practice, and helped hundreds of people learn how to calm themselves this way.

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I continued to practice what I was teaching, and realized that it didn't make sense to wait until someone was stressed enough to seek therapy*, because practicing calming strategies throughout the day, frequently and proactively, helped to maintain a sense of well-being. I also realized that it did not make sense to teach and review the same things over and over, when I could provide this information online for people to refer to.

*Disclaimer

In my therapy practice (Mandel Counseling, marshamandel.com), my focus is on treating trauma and anxiety with ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy), in addition to teaching calming and cognitive strategies. Living a Mental Wellness Lifestyle can be helpful for everyone, but it is in no way a substitute for professional mental health counseling to alleviate symptoms of a more significant nature than daily stress.

You do so much to care for your body. From watching what you eat, trying to get enough sleep, going on walks, or to the gym, there are steps you take every day with your physical well-being in mind. You shower, brush your teeth, wash your hands, and take care of your skin. In addition to these, you have general knowledge about what to do if there's a problem. You know how to manage catching a cold, having an upset stomach, toothache, an insect bite or sunburn. You also go for annual exams and get your teeth and vision checked and treated if needed. You cut back on salt, saturated fats, or carbs, go to physical therapy, or decrease your alcohol intake, if you need to. You start walking, bicycling, or swimming - all for your physical health.

You accept that your body is not perfect and that there are things you do to take care of it for your physical well-being.

​Your brain is not perfect either and there are things you can do to take care of it for your mental well-being.
If you've ever been certain about something and found out you were wrong, you know that
your brain does not filter out false or unhelpful thoughts on its own.
It can also get stuck in negativity, overwhelmed with emotions, and feel out of control.
You can know one thing, but feel another. Were you taught how to manage that?

What DO you know about how your brain is working? Taking care of your body will help you take care of your mind to some extent, however, did you learn how to manage negative thoughts? Strong emotions? Did you learn how to get yourself "unstuck" without distraction (overworking, keeping busy), rest (sleep it off), or numbing yourself (overeat, shop, drink)? Did you learn about the connection between life experiences, stress, thoughts, and emotions?

What if your troublesome thoughts or emotions are not calming on their own? You can use  candles,  aromatherapy, music, even go on vacation, but you bring your brain with you wherever you go, and you may be inadvertently stressing yourself by allowing your brain and body to just react however they do. You may have assumed that your brain and body just know how to take care of themselves.
​If that were the case, there would be no stress.

Thankfully, there ARE steps you can take to bring calm to your brain and body throughout your daily life.
You are making a lifestyle change and do not have to make extra time in your busy life to do this.

Your quality of life and relationships depend on how your mind is working. If you get stuck in negative thoughts and emotions, you may unknowingly ​be making things worse by inadvertently allowing unhelpful thought patterns and reactions to repeat over and over.

Imagine this pattern starting, but you know how to interrupt it and change course to help yourself feel calm, clear, and confident.  Imagine you do not even go down that pathway because you have brought mental wellness strategies into your daily life to calm your body and mind. You have created a strong foundation of well-being and balance. You feel confident in yourself because you understand how your gears are turning, and you know how to manage them.​

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Physical Wellness vs Mental Wellness

We were taught how to take care of our bodies. ​

From childhood physical education classes, to gyms, sports, nutritional programs, and medical check-ups, we know what to do for our physical well-being. There are so many well-known options and it is up to each one of us to use that information for our physical health and wellness.

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We were not taught essential facts about how our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and reactions work.

 We did not learn to question our thoughts. We did not learn what emotions are, where they come from, and how to manage them. We were not provided practical information about our brain - our master controller! Yet every person experiences a broad range of thoughts and emotions, reacting to them in whatever way we happened to learn.

 We were not born knowing how to talk, read, write...and countless other things. How did we learn these? How did they become automatic?

 Literally every single thing you were not born knowing, but now do without thinking about, was learned through exposure  and repetition. 

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What do we mean by "exposure"?

Our patterns of thinking and reacting are formed by whatever seeds have been planted and nourished - even unintentially. These include exposure to stress hormones and loud noises in the womb, behaviors we witness throughout our lives, and subtle messages from our families, peers, and society. Most of these are beneath our level of awareness. They become "how I am." We may define ourselves by them.

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What do we mean by "repetition"?

It's not just what you intentionally​ repeat. It's what we experience, what is modeled for us, and what we do. Why do we all react differently to things? Our reactions are rooted in our past. We learn to catastrophize, dwell, or stuff emotions. We learn how to express anger, who to trust, or to push others away.

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The more you allow yourself to repeat anything, the more automatic it becomes.
This is how you learned to read, write, walk, talk, and put on your socks. 
​Thought patterns and reactions work the same way.
We are exposed to behaviors and reactions, and our brain learns them.
Each of us is unique, because none of us have identical life experiences or genetic predispositions.

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 Well-traveled pathways become familiar and feel natural. Your neural pathways - connections that are repeatedly activated in your brain and body every time you repeat something, also become well-traveled and feel natural. 
​We become completely unaware of these patterns. Our patterns become who we are. We don't think to question them.

This is great for helpful things that we want to learn or to become automatic.
The problem is that our brains do not filter out false or unhelpful thoughts or beliefs. 
We can be 100% certain, and be 100% wrong. ​

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The good news, is that as strong as your patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting may be, they are not carved in stone.

We can work within our minds, with our own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
We can learn  to hold space for our own emotions, because we cannot just shut them down or push them away.
We can use strategies throughout the day to calm our bodies while we feel what we feel.

​Calming your body is the first step towards calming your mind.
With a calm body and a calm mind, you can think about your thinking and make choices you may not have realized you have.

We can frequently and proactively reset our state of mind throughout each day, creating a solid foundation of calmness, and making us less vulnerable to being triggered by stress.

On the following pages, you will learn essential facts about your brain, body, and mind, and how to calm your body and mind throughout your day.

What is Mental Wellness?

Disclaimer

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